Saturday, October 07, 2006

In Spite Of It All

I could have sat right there for the rest of my days.

A couple years ago I went to Cancun. It had been six years since I had a heart attack at 42. I really enjoyed just sitting there on the beach, listening to the sounds of the ocean and just watching the people pass by. I am very fortunate to have been there. I didn't have a "wild" time, I had peace. Before I had the heart attack, I kept saying to my wife, "Let's go to the beach". Then, when I didn't expect it......BAM! It's hard to explain what I went through. The whole experience hurts far more than the physical pain. Some of that continues to this day. I know that one day I may not be spared. It is not easy to exist after such an experience. You continually walk around with this pendulum swinging over your head. We have a lot of problems in life as it is. Nobody is exempt. Today, I sit here writing on this blog, hopeful that the pendulum is not lowered anytime soon. I have much to do.
I certainly intend to sit on a beach again as often as I can.

As I look back, I can see where I have been a survivor. It's been a long hard road and I have not always taken the straightest roads to get to where I wanted to be. I can also say that I hardly ever had any help as far as directions go. I did the best I could with what I had, and did all of it with the best of my own ability and judgement. Of course, I made tons of mistakes and unfortunately, continue to do so. I can say that I have been a lucky guy.

I would like to think I have a few things to say. If it helps anyone think about things, then I will have accomplished much. Throughout my entire life I have tried to view things with a sense of humor. I realize, that most of the time, humor is often used to make tragedies and drama more bearable. I can safely say that humor has kept me afloat. I have been able to laugh alot of things off. I have more to say in this regard and I will occasionally write some of it here. Whether anyone finds that stuff interesting, remains to be seen. But I do have things to tell about. I have stuff to say about things that irritate me. Things that I have enjoyed. Things that you might enjoy too. I also feel the need to speak out regarding various issues. I hope this blog doesn't become boring. Many people have had it worse than I have ever had it. In spite of it all, I am a lucky guy. I simply would not exist if not for my wife and kids and grandkids. If I never have anything else, it is their part in my life that have brought me great joy......greater than any sitting on the beach.

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