Tuesday, July 27, 2010

What A Trip! - Part Three

I love going on vacation. I am ready at a moment's notice. I really look forward to it and wish that every day was a vacation. For some that know me, they might say that I have the life of Riley and that I already have every day as a vacation day. In a way, that is true. For quite some time I have had the opportunity to do whatever I wish, within reason, in any time frame that I choose, and however I choose to do it. That's been a blessing and a curse though.

Let me pick up where I left off..............After staying a few days in Leander, Texas........we loaded up the van..........me, Supernurse, Noodle, Expansion Pack 2.1, Mayor Of Simpleton, and Princess Fartknocker.............and we hit the road headed for Tennessee for the Fourth Of July weekend. I would have liked to have left a bit sooner because Texas was getting some outer bands of the hurricane that was beginning to pound the Texas-Mexico border. All in all, it was a minor event and not that big of a deal.......it just meant that I would have to encounter some heavy downpours at some point early in our journey........and we were gonna be driving at night and overnight. I had precious cargo and I am very careful and aware of that cargo.

With each day of life, as mundane as it often is, you never really know what to expect......things happen......surprises are had.....and life is a rollercoaster. My rollercoaster days are behind me.....my health has ensured that.......and as harrowing a rollercoaster ride would be for me, I found myself smack dab on a ride that I will never forget.

We were on the Interstate, just south of Waco......headed north........it was almost dark, the sun was setting to the west........and I could see some dark clouds ahead. It was part of one of those rain bands from the hurricane system............hopefully, it would just be a brief drive through it and then clear sailing the rest of the way..............and actually, that is exactly how it was.........very brief........maybe 15 minutes of driving through it.

Those 15 minutes now seem as if it was hours..................let me explain.
Heavy downpours of rain........visibilty not good at all........every vehicle has their flashers on........top speed maybe 20-25 mph..............but everything is coasting along. Lots of lightning too. At the time, I would have like to have taken the next exit and waited it out.......but I couldn't see any exits...........so I kept moving along..............and the rain died down quite a bit........we continued on...........whew!..........we got through it.........so traffic speed goes up to about 55 mph.........I am in the fast lane so that I can get past some slower tractor trailers and right as I get past them, I see a police car entering from a ramp and merging into traffic. Naturally, everybody slows down in fear of a ticket...........I stay at 55 mph.........but I slow down a little and move over to the right lane because I can see that the police car had moved over to the fast lane and was pacing behind me. No problem.

Just ahead there was a small rise in the roadway...........maybe like a bridge or overpass.......could have been just an elevation of some sort...........I slowed down........the road was wet, it was still raining, but not very hard, and I could not see what was over that hill........so I am cautious...........I look in the rear view mirror and I see the trucks.........they seemed a fair distance back from us..................I reach the top of the hump in the road and................traffic is stopped!!!!!!

There was nowhere for me to go...............I didn't know that I could bring the van to a stop in time.........the tractor trailer in front of us was not moving anywhere and there was nowhere to go to the left......I aimed for the shoulder of the road.......but there was only about five feet between the guardrail and the truck.......no room for us to fit............In a flash, I am trying to stop our van without losing control......and yet I keep looking into the rear view mirror at the truck behind me.
That truck is moving side to side and getting closer and closer. It was a big pickup truck pulling a boat on a trailer........and the driver..........is trying his darndest to stop from hitting us.........if I had somewhere to go I would have.....all I could do was bring the van to a stop to within an inch of the tractor trailer's right rear corner with the guardrail next to us. It was this moment.......this one moment that I was still looking back begging the pickup truck driver, as if he could hear me......"Put the hammer down!.......Please STOP.....PLEASE STOP!!!!!".

Somehow.....someway.........we weren't all killed. We would have been completely crushed..........my precious cargo and me.....gone in a flash.We all could hear the tires trying to grab the roadway.......his front grill looked as if it was gonna come through the rear window of the van..................the sound was like a monster..............and a miracle happened.............he stopped! Jesus God he stopped!...............everything stopped. My daughter Noodle said "Good job Daddy!"

Maybe it was the cop that caused the traffic behind me to slow down enough that enable them to stop.........maybe .............maybe because I slowed enough myself to be able to stop in time.........maybe .............everything and everybody was firing on all cylinders enough to be able to deal with it..........maybe...............either way.........it had to be divine intervention.

Needless to say...........I looked at everyone in the van.............just the look in their eyes spoke volumes....................and I managed to get the van around that tractor trailer.......apparently it could not move......the brakes must have locked up..............about 500 feet ahead we could see that there was an accident that caused the backup..............we continued up the highway for another 15 minutes or so and then I pulled into a gas station/convenience store............whoa.......I had to take a breather..........and everyone had to piss really bad............surprisingly nobody had shit themselves.

Stuff like this is a game changer.............one moment and everything comes into its proper perspective.

We finally made it to Tennessee.................and my mom was very happy to have all of us there. She had no idea what we had to go through to get there. Maybe we told her and it just didn't register.................you cannot really know unless you experience it.

Speaking of experiencing things..............My sister EBCBEBR puts all sorts of photographs on her dining room walls..........that way everybody can look at them when they visit..........I love that.........and look.......Princess Fartknocker posed for a picture right next to a picture of her mommy!

Yep..........her mommy.......my daughter Annie Warbucks.

It was great to see everyone..........and, of course, it was also great to have a family jam session.
Me?......I mess around with the guitar a bit............

My sister has a set of drums...........the Mayor of Simpleton did pretty good......I was surprised.

My niece's son Jimi Skynyrd has gotten quite good on guitar.........if he keeps at it he might just be able to be in a band.

Everybody got into the act............singing and playing.........

.........and texting.

My brother-in-law Bobert Titanfan...........he is so good playing keyboards that he can do it while he sleeps...........no kidding..........he was asleep when I shot this picture.

Bobert's brother Tombert is a drummer..........but lately he honing his guitar prowess by playing guitar in a band with Bobert. He is alot of fun to be around and is a really good person.........and extemely talented.

So what did we all play? Smoke On The Water..........some Cars stuff..........Beatles.......Sweet Home Alabama........etc etc.

Stay tuned folks.......there's more to come.

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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

What A Trip - Part 2

Okay.......so we had finally arrived at my daughter Noodle's home in Leander, Texas.

When we got there, Princess Fartknocker and her brother Joe Flacco had already been there for a few days. The plan was that they would visit their other grandparents, who just so happen to live just outside of Austin, and then spend some time at Noodle's and then me and Supernurse would show up, stay a couple of days with them there and then load everybody up into the van and head to Spring Hill, Tennessee to celebrate the Fourth Of July with my mom and sisters and nieces and nephews...........almost a complete family reunion.........my sons would not be able to make it and Noodle's husband had to work. My other daughter Ms Moneypenny and her husband James Bond would be there in Tennessee by the time we would get there.

It is always wonderful to visit Noodle. Me and Supernurse miss her dearly and do what we can to visit as often as we can.
Noodle and my son-in-law Harry Numbercruncher.............

...........and there he is...........Signtopia Expansion Pack 2.1.........he is growing fast and he is amazingly smart too.............then again, he DOES have certain genetics....hehehe.

They have come a long way and more and more things have been done to or added to their humble abode. They added the porch, bought a new grill......added some planters, a picnic table, some Adirondack chairs..............

........and went further with the landscaping. It looks great.........they have done a good job.

Supernurse got her Sonic fix and I got my H.E.B. fix.......and after a few days it was time to hit the road again.

Stay Tuned.......in Part 3 you get to read about the terrifying start to the rest of the trip.

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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

What A Trip!

Holy Moly...........what a long drive down the road it was. Through Maryland..........and all the way down I-81 in Virginia to Tennessee. All the way across I-40 through Tennessee. Through Memphis into Arkansas. Through Arkansas....Little Rock.......and Texarkana. Then down through Texas......Dallas......Waco......and finally Leander.

That was alot of driving........and way more than I would want to do these days. Somehow, I felt good and had no problem driving 12 hours at a clip. We drove from Baltimore to just north of Memphis .......about 12-13 hours.....where we stopped for the night. The roads were good, traffic was moving well and everything was good.

The next morning we headed through Memphis and into Arkansas. Arrrgggghhh........we stopped at a welcome center for a break and was told by the host there that we would be just outside of Little Rock about lunchtime...........so she recommended that we stop at a place called Brown's. She said "Brown's has great food and is the best buffet in Arkansas". Okay......sounds good.....we will do that...........................hmmm........I should stop being so easily convinced of things.

Let's just say that if Brown's is the best food buffet in Arkansas......then there will never be any need to ever stop anywhere again while driving through that State. After eating at Brown's, I now have no desire to ever stop in Arkansas again......except for gasoline. I would like to think that I know a bit about smorgasbords............I managed one in Merritt Island, Florida.....many moons ago...........and this "buffet" was disgusting...........then again........perhaps the folks in Arkansas think it is a step up from everything else in Arkansas. Well......the food "was" edible.......I didn't cough it all up later...........the food line was not particularly the most sanitary operation.............and the people.....locals and tourists acted like they never saw food before. What a big mistake this was........we couldn't wait to get back on the road. Here is just an observation for you..............apparently there is alot of inbreeding going on in Arkansas. West Virginia ain't got nuthin' on Arkansas........this is inbreeding to the tenth power.

Arkansas spawned two Governors...............Bill Clinton and Mike Huckabee...........both ran for President of the US............I remember hearing that Clinton left the Arkansas governor's residence in such a shambles that when Huckabee was elected he had to stay in a trailer on the property while everything was fixed back up. I believe it. This stop in Arkansas has made quite an impression on me.........and really puts certain stuff into perspective. Today, if you say Clinton.......or even Hilary........I will have to think "Arkansas"!...............Arrrrrgghhh!

The drive through Texas was good and went smoothly. Dallas was quite a sight.......very beautiful skyline...........the only somewhat unnerving moment came was when we stopped for gas, south of Dallas......maybe near Killeen........the tank was about empty and I couldn't keep going down the road to look for a place that appeared populated.........so I headed onto an off ramp towards a lone gas sign on a pole that had a banner attatched that said "Now Open!".

The gas station was the only thing in the area...........except for the truck trailer sitting on the parking lot. The trailer had a wooden deck and steps!.........it was converted to some sort of church type operation. Holy evangelism! No need to go there.........I pumped my gas, went inside to pay, and encountered the female clerk at the register..........and she looked like she had some kind of horns growing on her forehead. This was like an Outer Limits episode.......or maybe I had stepped into the Twilight Zone. The woman was very nice. Supernurse hadn't seen anything like that before.........all she could say to me after we got back into our van was "She had nice makeup on those things sticking out of her head". I figured that there were alot of crops in that area......farmland.........and just maybe the woman suffered from contamination from crop dusting or some other kind of environmental hazard.

After a few more hours, finally, we arrived in Leander at our daughter Noodle's home.

There is more to tell........stay tuned!

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