Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The End Is Near!...........Run For Your Lives!

There has been some strange things going on...........spooky......eerie......downright scary stuff. Surely most people have taken notice........unless........uh...er....well........I take that back......let me start over..................

You gotta be a moron if you haven't noticed that alot of strange unexplicable things have been happening all over the planet. Maybe some people just have "normalcy bias" as an excuse.......you know.......normalcy bias.......just look THAT one up. "Things can't be that bad."......and "Oh.....It happens all the time......It too shall pass." The problem is, while such words are somewhat comforting, and all of it is more comforting when any issue or event is pitifully small in the grand scheme of things, lately.........it appears that stuff is happening frequently and in massive doses.

First it was the honey bee........remember that? The honey bees were disappearing and nobody had any definative reason for it...........and now nobody seems to even mention it anymore. For me........it all began when I noticed that flies had replaced all of the bees that would routinely feast upon the bushes that were in the front of my house. I thought that was odd. About a year later, it was all over the news that the bees were vanishing. Surely this one odd thing is not enough to make you or I pack up our bags and head for the hills.

Lately, though.........other things have been happening all over the world. Masses of fish are showing up dead in rivers, lakes, and oceans.

Again.......I keep hearing "This is nothing new....it happens all the time".

Maybe it does happen all the time........but I don't seem to remember hearing about it with such frequency or scale. We didn't even see any pictures of any large scale fish kill resulting from that huge oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Why is that? One would think that there would have been. You would think there would have been a shrimp and crab shortage too.....but I have not seen any indication of it. I seriously did not trust any of the sensationalized reports about that oil spill......it was not anywhere near as bad as they made it seem.

And now its birds............birds everywhere have been just dropping right out of the sky in mid-flight.......for no apparent reason. "Lightning strike"......."fireworks scared them"........."blunt force trauma"........."no disease found in autopsy........just blunt force trauma".........are you kidding me?

Sure.......birds die.....as do fish.................one or two at a time maybe............

........but this is getting to be biblical in proportions if you know what I mean.

"Blunt force trauma"..........hmmm.........thousands of birds at one time?.........huh?

Something is seriously going on, folks..............but don't worry..........so they say. I get asked why I think this is happening and the only bird related disaster situation that I can recall was when the birds were suicidal in a movie I saw when I was a kid.

The good news is that there is a huge difference. The birds in Alfred Hitchcock's movie The Birds, not only were suicidal.......but they were attacking everybody. For now.......birds are just dropping dead........no indication of them being suicidal.........and so far, I am not aware of mass attacks of humans by birds.............well......there have been a handful of reports about some birds attacking people.......but not in any large numbers.
So what do I think about all of this?

I could joke around and just suggest that Hitchcock never died and that he has been filming a 3-D sequel of his classic film. Sadly, there are people on this planet that would believe that.

I suppose it all comes down to a multiple choice question. The challenge for you is to pick your answer for your own self.

Here ya go:

Why have birds been dropping out of the sky?

Answer (choose one):

  • A. Shit happens.
  • B. The birds crashed into something invisible and huge......like maybe a UFO.
  • C. The military has been testing new weaponry which uses sound blasts.
  • D. The military has been testing new weaponry which messes around with ions.
  • E. The magnetic north pole has been shifting and will soon be located in Russia. (don't laugh....this is true)
  • F. George Bush
  • G. Sarah Palin
  • H. It's a sign of the end.

There you have it. Take your pick........whichever you choose............and then

RUN FOR YOU LIVES!

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