Sunday, December 10, 2006

A United Nations Christmas Gift

I read a news article today that reports that the United Nations has figured out that the major cause of the depletion of the ozone layer is .............COW FARTS!

Who knew? The world's 1.5 billion cattle are to blame. They allegedly emit more than ONE THIRD of all emissions of methane, which warms the earth twenty times faster than carbon dioxide. Cattle are also responsible for producing 9 percent of all emissions of carbon dioxide.

The report indicates that unless some sort of drastic measures are taken, the problem will double by the year 2050. Ain't that a nice early Christmas gift from the UN?

You just gotta know that a certain somebody is gonna jump all over this story........and that somebody will be...............

........Al Gore. That's right.......the "I invented the internet" moron. Since his days of recieving taxpayer monies ceased, ole Al Gore has found a way to make alot of cash.......a new career.......and still maintain a presence in the media. He figured there are alot of people on the planet that enjoy fear and gloom and doom stuff.......and they do.....and they spend alot of hard-earned money to support those who write, speak, and shout from the rooftops that the "End Of The World Is Coming!".......hehehe. Shoot.....if the corporate boys that control the Jehovah's Witnesses can make several billion bucks by suckering in their alleged 6.5 million members........then Al Gore would have to at least be able to cover more territory with his own spiel. Not that Al Gore has any devout is just that this kind of stuff sells. I don't even need to explain it to you.

I am wondering now if Al Gore has given up drinking milk. I also wonder now if the leaders of the United Nations will now frown upon donations of dried milk and other dairy products that would go to starving people in Third World countries. I am also trying to picture the circumstances of such a report from the United Nations. This whole notion could cross over into a longer look at other animals.......even perhaps, humans!

I can see it now...........things will get so bad that the entire atmosphere will become so unstable that each time we fart, huge flames will erupt from our rumps, causing fires and severe burns to innocent bystanders. Hospitals will need to devote special areas of their buildings just to care for these people. Things could really get out of hand..........

...........or should I say "things could really get out of ass"!

Sadly, we can be heading down this road. Apparently someone already was inspired to make a sign that this kind of end was near.

Al Gore must be chomping at the bit as I write this.

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