Tuesday, December 05, 2006
A Sad Day In A Happy Season
There was something about the sky that afternoon. The wind kicked up.........the temperature was dropping..........yet there was about 98% humidity. Something was brewing and I never fully realized it at the time this photo was taken. Something compelled me to take the shot.
Today, I know now what was brewing that day. Obviously there is always some sort of trouble on the horizon. I have previously mentioned my wife's mom and her battle with cancer. She is staying in our home with us now, where we can attempt to make her as comfortable as possible. Today, she got her first visit from "hospice". I cannot describe how difficult it is to say what you need to say and sit through this process. It was hard for my wife and I wish I could make this go away for her. The wife is a strong woman and she will get through this. As for me, I will be doing whatever I can, to make things as tolerable as possible. It's hard.......it's real hard.
At this stage, it will be all about making her mom as comfortable as possible and attempting to ease, not only her pain, but our own agony. I do not like this......it is not supposed to be this way. I am constantly reminded of when my dad spent his last days at my house. It was what he wanted and he passed peacefully in his sleep one night. I shall never ever forget that night......ever. And here we go again.......this time.....my wife will be hurting more and instead of having to deal with getting me through that time......it will be my challenge to get her through this time.
I cannot believe anyone is fully prepared for this stuff. This is not gonna be easy. This is one of the times where you feel helpless and powerless. It's a rude awakening to have the realization that there are things that you ultimately have no control over.......and it rips you up to know that there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop the process. It's like there is this guillotine dangling above and you know it will drop but you have no idea of when.....no inkling of how many moments are left. I could rant and rant about this stuff and before you know it, I would be writing about stuff so deep and unanswerable, that it would ultimately challenge everyone's beliefs. I could easily go there.......but I will restrain myself today.....things are depressing enough and we have Christmas approaching fast.
I wish I could write something that could sum all of this up and share a message of hope with everyone. I cannot do that. You will just have to settle for the upcoming Christmas holiday and the very important message that began it all. ...........I suppose you would be expecting me to tell you what that message is now............
Okay, there is a reason for the season. Not shopping. Not decorating. Not the songs. Not any of that stuff. The reason is that our Saviour was born. The antidote to all of our ills. The dosage of salvation that we all needed.....and still need to this day. A guarantee.........an insurance policy.......a settlement........and finally.........hope.
In the words of the Tiny Tim character in Charles Dickens' book "A Christmas Carol"..............
"God Bless Us, Everyone!"