Tuesday, April 08, 2008

For Those Who Wanted To Know

I figured I would write a note here to inform everyone that happens to be a regular reader of this here blog of mine, that for the past few days I have spent an inordinate amount of time dealing with a computer virus............yep......a nasty malicious trojan had unleashed its evil deeds on my laptop. I pretty much could not do much of anything and my laptop was basically useless.

But.........as some people know.........I just so happen to be the "conqueror of all things evil and nasty"...........hehehehe.............and I managed to get my laptop functioning normally again.

Of course.....I had to reformat my hard drive.........but......that was no easy chore. It would be a very long story here for me to explain all of the details, so let's just say that it would have been a piece of cake to fix the problem in a more reasonable world........but persistence is mine......and I am like a fly on a piece of shit.....I keep coming back until I get what I want.........hehehe....just ask the Watchtower......hehehe.

Oh well.............by the way..........NONE of the available anti-virus or anti-spyware programs got rid of the problem. Furthermore, I have no way of knowing exactly how I got the virus on my laptop. One thing is for sure though............whoever is responsible for creating these viruses and spyware programs.....well......let's just say that if it were left up to me to decide punishment, the following acts should be applied to the perpetrators:

1. Because I am a nice guy, I would at least feed the moron. I am sure he or she would enjoy elephant shit meat loaf with vomit gravy. And to wash the generous meal down........a nice tall glass of sewage from the Back River Water Treatment Plant.

2. Because such morons use their fingers in what they do, those fingers need some serious care..............such as full, slow removal of each and every fingernail...........and once the nails are removed (which is painful) we could always stick toothpicks into the parts of the fingers where the nails once were. Oh, I forgot to mention that the toothpicks would be dipped in dogshit first before being poked into the fingertips.............I know.........it's a generous deed.

3. Hmmmmmmm...........aside from incarceration, maybe the perp needs some company in his cell...............hmmmmm........who could we put in the cell with him or her?.........maybe somebody like Hillary Clinton..........ahhhhhhhh....now THAT would be worth seeing on television.

4. The cell should be doused with stagnant water from a drainage ditch somewhere in Florida. I cannot think of a more pleasant or satisfying thing than watching "jungle rot" consume the morons. Think of it as a "natural" or "green" kind of punishment.

That's it!...............unless they would prefer Door Number Two.

Behind Door Number Two would be me. They would be subjected to me for the same amount of time I spent trying to fix my computer. This might be a very appealing option to them..........however, their expectations of survival would be very very slim. Need I say more?

Okay now.........back to the grind, there is a whole lotta "end of the world" stuff to write about.

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