To Fart Or Not To Fart

Let's say you just had a nice big dinner at Don Pablo's and had an extra side of refried beans.........the question is...........will you fart or will you hold it in? Stupid question.....right?

But imagine that the Al Gore global warming propagandists tell you that human farts are responsible for a hefty portion of that which causes polar ice caps to melt.........then what?

Ban the sales of beans? How about banning farting all together? I would be against that........I am one of those people that enjoy letting go a good healthy blast of flatulence every once in a while. Let those gases build up inside you and you will just be miserable all day. Besides.........a good and righteous fart also happens to be funny. If the sound doesn't make you smile.........the reactions of other people to the resulting stench is enough to make you laugh.


It would be hard to imagine a ban on farts........but I could see our politicians banning the consumption and usage of assorted foods........I really could see that........after all........our politicians have already banned or heavily taxed other things all under the guise of being for our health such as tobacco, liquor, and the banning of the use of trans fats in restaurants. We very well could see the day where there might at the very least, be a fine for farting in public places. Ahhhhh....just think.......it could create jobs...........fart assessors......hehehe.

If a ban on farts isn't ridiculous enough........they just might consider taking action on the worst of the worst..............exhaling. Seriously..........when you exhale, you are discharging carbon dioxide. Carbon dioxide, as you must surely know by now, is a greenhouse gas..........and it just so happens to contribute to the alleged global warming in a major way. Each human being and animal are leaving huge carbon footprints and that means that it may not be too far into the future where some moron politicians get together and propose a tax on exhalation.........imagine that one. In the process, though, less carbon dioxide in the air would also mean that more plants and trees will die.......after all........plants and trees need carbon dioxide in order to live and grow. Without plants and trees, humans would die off and there is where the dilemma is. Less humans........less tax base. As I think about it, maybe the politicians will want to "compromise" and just go after the act of belching...........yeah.........that's the ticket.......er uh....tax.

I don't know about you folks.........but I am beginning to feel all warm and fuzzy about all of this.

No..........wait.............I just had to let one go, that's all.