Nothing Like A Little Stress

I suppose that today could be called another ordinary day in the life of ole Signtopia..........but what lead into this day was most certainly not ordinary. There is enough stress in each day to keep things interesting........however......there ARE certain events that take the cake.

Last night, after taking my nightly "pill salad".......and within 20 minutes of turning out the lights and nodding off into dreamland......I was awoken by the dogs. Something was very wrong.

"Fartknocker's" dog Abby, the shih-tzu was in distress and my dog Chico, the Mexican space heater, did the right thing and woke me up by hitting me in the face with his paws. Never underestimate the abilities of a dog.

Okay......so what was the problem?..........For some reason, Abby is one of those dogs that consumes food and assorted treats with reckless abandon.......sometimes never even getting to taste it. So Abby was apparently choking on a fairly large portion of a rawhide chew bone......and she was in my bed circling around.............I guess a dog cannot just use its paws to take care of such things, so they just start running in circles. Anyway, I immediately grabbed Abby and and used my hands to massage her throat and stomach areas. Quickly, she proceeded to cough up the large chunk of rawhide bone.........on the bed, of course. So I cleaned up the mess and figured everything was okay and I could get back to sleep............but that was not about to happen.

The dogs had gone down to the first floor of the house and would not come back up stairs when I called......Chico would come half way and look at me and head back down the stairs........so I went to see what was up. Abby was laying at the foot of the steps as if that was where she was gonna go to sleep.......but she wasn't responding to my voice. I reached down to pet her and she then got up and gingerly moved to the hallway and plopped down on the floor as if she had just run a marathon. I knew something was still wrong with her.

I knelt down to see what I could find out and I lifted her leg an let go and it was lifeless. Her eyes were closed and I tried to open them with my fingers and her eyes told me she was gone. Oh no!
She had stopped breathing! I immediately picked her up from the floor and held her in my arms and tried to wake her up.......she was not responding..........I had no idea what to do.............while verbally trying to get her to respond, I also patted her stomach and back forcefully...........I knew about the Heimlich Manuever for humans, but for dogs?........what am I gonna do?...........so I kept at it and it was looking bleaker and bleaker as each moment passed............I kept squeezing her and I forced open her mouth and stuck my finger in her mouth..............and............suddenly Abby began to convulse and discharge a very large mass of assorted stuff she had eaten...........and it wasn't loose...it was like it was all packed together. Another mess to clean up at 3 a.m. but thank God!.......Abby was alive!

She wasn't out of the woods just yet though...........she was still lethargic.....wouldn't drink.....just wanted to lay there. I kept petting her and encouraging her.......and soon we were off to bed. That did not last very long, though. Supernurse came home from work and after I filled her in on the night's ordeal....Abby began vomiting several times..........another mess........except this time I am not alone in this ordeal, but my concerns for the dog are making it difficult to even try to get any sleep. At 5 a.m. Abby's vomiting subsided and we had isolated her to a hallway where clean-up would be easier to deal with. Instead of going to bed, I decided that I would camp out in the recliner and keep one eye on the dog. Abby calmed down and went to sleep and I managed to get about two hours of sleep before my "Fartknocker Princess" would arrive.

At 8 a.m., Abby was alert........wagging her tail.....and about as normal as one could expect.

Whew! That was a close one.

I stayed awake and went to my annual visit to the cardiologist. This is always a stressful ordeal for me..........the anxiety...............and this time, no sleep, extra stress from the dog ordeal.........I dreaded the visit.

To put it as simple as possible.........the cardiologist said to me........once again........"I'll see you next year!"..................Excellent......that is what I wanted to hear. Blood pressure was good......EKG good.........no problem.

So I get home around noon, only to find out that a son-in-law is at the emergency room............there was bright red blood in his urine..............oh no, here we go again.

By 4 p.m., I get a phone call that he is okay and is being sent home..........whew!

I am hoping to hit the sack early tonight................so how was YOUR day?

Nik Kershaw Live Aid - Wouldn't it be Good

I just cannot help myself.....so bear with me.............this just happens to be on of my favorite songs of all time. Great lyrics.

Great Moments Happen & Greatness Is Sometimes Forgotten

This past Sunday, I got together with my eldest son Dash Riprock, and my ole buddy Ted Springstone. We decided to go to the Mt. Washington Tavern, here in Baltimore, to watch the NFL Playoff Game between the NY Giants and Green Bay Packers.........not particularly a special occasion.........I had no dog in this race.........but we were gonna root for the Packers.......after all......how can anyone from Baltimore ever root for any New York team in any sport? I had been to the Mt. Washington Tavern only once previously after a Christmas gala a coupe of years ago. Ted and Dash had never been there before. Anyhoo......we go there and start enjoying the game.....and it was a close one and not boring in the least.........at some point, this older man, who had been seated near the front window and entrance, gets up from his table and proceeds to walk towards the restrooms. Interestingly, he takes his time......and begins shaking everyone's hand.......he even taps the arms of those with their backs to him so that he can shake their hands. I thought......."This is bizarre."........so he approaches me, Ted and Dash and shakes our hands as well.........and then he goes to the restroom.

We looked at each other and had a discussion about the man. My son says "Did you see those Super Bowl rings on his hands?"..........so now, we are trying to figure out just exactly who this man is..................Ted says "Mackey"............gosh.........I don't know why, but I thought Mackey had died a few years ago..........."He looks like Mackey". A few minutes pass by, and here comes that man again, from out of the restroom.......and he proceeds to try to shake the hands each and every person in the bar as he strides back to his seat.......even though he had already shook everyone's hands! This time, I looked him over carefully..............YES!......he IS John Mackey, the Hall of Fame tight end, Number 88, of the BALTIMORE Colts! Unbelieveable!

Damn..........John Mackey is alive...........you learn something every day. Seeing him, shaking his hand.......speaking to him............well, gee........this is something that just doesn't happen every day. This is special. It's not everyday that I get the opportunity to shake the hand of one of the greatest football players that ever lived.

But something is seriously wrong with John Mackey. He suffers from dementia.........probably from years of head injuries and concussions on the football field. I asked Mackey "Why ain't you playing anymore?".......to which he replied "I did.....I played for 12 years". It was obvious to me that I should not ask more.......I just shook his hand again as he passed by. Dementia is a strange condition. It was as if Mackey knew he was a celebrity but the majority of those in the bar did not.......and Mackey had it in his head that everyone would want to shake his hand. Damn.........he was as if his mind is a broken record.......stuck in one groove.........maybe he doesn't realize that alot of years have passed since he wore the uniform.

So.......I gotta get the scoop on what is up with Mackey.........so when the young woman that was sitting with him passed by me on her way to the restroom, I stopped her and spoke to her. I asked "Is that your Dad that has been shaking everyone's hands?" She said "Yes". I asked "What is his name?"........and she said "John"........at first she seemed a bit hesitant.........but then I asked "He is John Mackey isn't he?....."Yes". So there it is.....confirmation. We spoke a couple of minutes and she told me about his condition and a few things about him today. I told her that I would love to have his autograph. She said "Sure, he would love that!" Damn! We did not have a pen or any paper.........dammit.

I am the guy that seems to always have my camera with me..........but not this time! THIS was a perfect time to have a camera.......and I did NOT have it with me...........dammit. I could have gotten a picture and an autograph of one of the greatest football players in NFL history! Damn!

Oh well.............after the game, as we were leaving, Mackey followed me out the front door and was asking "Where's the car?" I turned around and said "You need to ask your daughter.....she is right behind you"

Damn...........

From what I was told, Mackey comes to the MT. Washington Tavern often.......his daughter brings him there.......it is a comfort zone for him. In spite of his illness, God has blessed John Mackey. That his daughter and wife tend to him the way they do, is a testimony to that fact. He is much loved and his greatness surely hasn't faded in their lives.

I had to read up on Mackey......get more details.....I was now curious. His story is is one that should be made into a movie one day........and I hope they do.......his story should be a source of inspiration to many.

If you would like to learn more about John Mackey's condition, try this link:

http://johnmackeyfund.org/

HOSTESS HO HO CHOCOLATE DELIGHT

Thought Of The Day

There are times when I sit around with nothing particular to do. It is during those times that my mind starts to roam about............call it a daydream.......maybe even a "day"mare......hehehe.

My mind got to thinking about the old Twilight Zone television show.............not because I was reminiscing about how great those shows were.........or how I wish there was something equal to it on television today. For some reason, I was also thinking about the hullaballoo over Don Imus' remarks, on his radio and tv program, about "nappy headed ho's". Things are pretty bad when people suggest that a rather well loved word is offensive. I was thinking how, if Rod Serling was alive today, how he might address the whole scandal.

What if Imus worded it different? What if he had said "chocolate covered ho's"? Now, before some of you that read this get your baggage in a cramp............consider the following:

What if Imus had stuttered and said "nappy headed ho-ho's"? Would people still be offended? Maybe because of the words "nappy headed". Hmmmm......surely not because of any use of an abbreviated word for a chocolate snack cake. Besides.......snack cakes shouldn't have nappy heads. Then again, I do not recall the controversy being about heads......nappy or not........it was all about him uttering the word "ho's".


Would Rod Serling have written a show where people would get all bent out of shape whenever they saw a t-shirt printed with what is shown in the above picture?........Just look at the letter "O" in the picture..........they look a bit "nappy" to me. Where is the outrage? Imagine what aliens from another planet might think if they came here and noticed how ridiculous it was for a large populus to be in such agony over a two-letter word.

For a long period of time, my father would refer to the JeHOvah's Witnesses as "Ho-Ho's". I thought it was funny........even I ended up calling them the same...............trust me, no moron ever decided to leave the Watchtower because the word "ho" was embedded on the middle of the name of their so-called God..........not even the nappy-headed witnesses........hehehe. But look carefully at the package of HoHo's............see that line "Chocolate Cake Rolled With Creamy Filling"? Now just what exactly could they be implying? Hmmmmmm.............for some reason......there is a large percentage of the population that finds that particular phrase very appealing......so appealing that they cannot wait to have one of their own to consume. What if Rod Serling wrote a show where JeHOvah's Witnesses worshipped chocolate cakes rolled with creamy filling, simply because they get excited wherever they see a portion of their god's name anywhere .........and the black population sought to do battle with them because the "Ho-Ho's" have a god with an offensive two-letter word in his name. It would make for a great Twilight Zone episode..............

The whole issue is ridiculous...........and it is further proof of our demise.

Is this where Reverend Al and Jesse Jackson start shouting from the rooftops.....demanding that the simple, tasty HoHo be outlawed?

Oh.........and wait just one darned moment!..............I just noticed something..........look at the name of the company that makes those HoHo's...................holy cannolli.........we are doomed!

The company's name?................HOstess!!!!

Now just what is it that a "HOstess" does for a living?

Oh well...........this can get out of hand..........

I am HO-ping that everyone has a great day!

Yet Another Milestone

Damn........sometimes you wake up and come to realize where exactly you are. I shall explain.......It was January 13th, 2008. Not just another day.....but another milestone. This was one of those days where you are flagrantly reminded about time. As it was......it has been a long road........but I am happy and am wealthy in so many non-financial respects.......I guess I can say that I have succeeded way beyond anyone's expectations and odds.

On January 13th, 1986 our fourth child was born in Baltimore, Maryland. A few months prior, we were living in Florida..........specifically Leesburg, Florida. What many do not realize was how difficult that particular time was. As it was..........Wifey-Poo was very pregnant but this pregnancy was a bit different. At one point there was a bloody discharge...........what?.....what is going wrong? I didn't understand all of this pregnancy stuff......even though we were already three children strong........."is the baby moving around?". Gosh......I even remember words being said....."stomach is hardening"......."cannot detect a heartbeat". I guess this was the first time I experienced that feeling of impending doom. The second time I felt impending doom was when I suffered a heart attack several years later. I did not understand any of this....something was wrong and the doctor did not seem to be able to give us solid answers.........certainly not the kind of answers we wanted to hear. I remember hearing "there must have been twins and one was rejected".......huh?.......and....."this one too shall pass in its due course".........what the in hell is that? Needless to say, this was extremely traumatic to hear......we were stunned. This cannot be happening......it isn't possible.

It is times like that which really tests your faith in a Supreme Being. This is cruel.

So time passed........all the while we anticipated what we had been told. Imagine what my wife went through........carrying a fairly fully developed infant inside her.....being told that there is no heartbeat.....and that she would have to wait for it to pass...................THIS is not acceptable. No way....no how. Miracles do happen though...........as it was.........everything we were told was seriously flawed................somehow a heartbeat happened.............the baby was alive and well!

It was at that point I decided that the family would move out of Florida and return to Baltimore. My thoughts were.........there are not only more hospitals there.....but far more doctors. We no longer had any trust in the doctor in Florida. Baltimore was home for me.........it is my comfort zone. (even as bad as it sometimes is there) I quit my fairly decent job.........and hustled up alot of interior graphics work to get enough money for us to move. We rented a small U-Haul trailer, hitched it up, loaded it up.....and headed north. So there we were......in Baltimore........and this baby is coming quickly............and thank God that Wifey-Poo and baby were doing fine.....so far so good.

And then on January 13th, 1986, our son BooBoo was born. Whew!

I guess we will never really know for sure if he was supposed to have been a twin........all we do know is how close we came to losing him. In the years that followed, he had a fairly normal childhood............barney rubble feet, using same for brakes on his big wheel.............my buddy ole pal............I have to smile as I look back.

But on this particular day, it is my Buddy Ole Pal's birthday.........BooBoo is 22 years old!

You cannot imagine how delighted I am on this day. Miracles DO happen........and this should be a testimony to that fact.

So here I sit, today..............I am a blessed person. I have raised the family that I always wanted..........my children are all of legal age now............it has been a long, long journey. I know that there will come a time......one day.......that perhaps I run out of time. It pains me deeply to even consider any thought of any possibility of being without my kids. Sure, I know that they grew up and they have alot of life to life.......even raising their own children..........and they are fully capable of surviving in this world. Yet, the inevitable will come one day.

One thing I DO know for sure...........my children should have no doubts in their minds how important they are to me..............aside from Supernurse, they have been my life.

I am proud of each one of my kids...............if I have made any mark on this earth, they are it.

BooBoo, you have turned out to be quite a great guy. Happy Birthday!

A Star In The Family

I always liked the Cat Stevens song "I Never Wanted To Be A Star".......but unlike Cat, I never became one.......although some family members might disagree with that. In my own little world, maybe I am.......but I like to say I am "almost famous". I suppose most every young person at one time or another, gets it in their head that they would like to be a movie star. Big dreams........and the odds are against those kinds of dreams.

Signtopia and Dash Riprock at an Orioles Game

My dream was to have a family..........and I have accomplished that dream. And you gotta know that a tremendous amount of work was involved........both enjoyable and not so enjoyable. It is every good parent's desire for the dreams and aspirations of their children to come true.......whether it be minor or major. You want them to succeed in life....in spite of everything that happens around them.

A long time ago, when my eldest son, Dash Riprock, was knee high to a grasshopper, he decided that he was going to be a Power Ranger..........and this wasn't much of a surprise to me and Supernurse since he was crazy about the Power Rangers. He had all of the toys and would watch every episode on the television each day. What DID surprise us was the one day we could not find him anywhere.........he went missing! Needless to say, we were all frightened and worried and we searched everywhere trying to find him. Our efforts failed and he was nowhere to be found........except........thank God.....that night we got a phone call from the security people at Baltimore-Washington Airport. They said "We have a little boy here that wanted to get on a plane to Los Angeles." Huh? Jesus God! My kid?.......yep......MY kid.

Apparently, MY kid actually had called a cab to come pick him up and take him from our house to the airport. Hmmmmm......you gotta wonder why the cab driver didn't question this. Anyway, we immediately drove to the airport to retrieve our child. Anger and relief.............whew! Why?.....son....why?.........what were you doing? That's when he told us that he was going to Los Angeles to be a Power Ranger. Most kids have dreams.......and alot of parents have nightmares.

Years and years went by.......and the Power Ranger incident was somewhat forgotten about........until my son, now in his twenties, began getting parts on HBO's The Wire. Gee........if he can't go to Los Angeles.........he found a way to be involved in Hollywood right here in Baltimore. I mentioned previously on the blog about his involvement with the Commander In Chief television program. Somehow, he manages to get himself in the majority of flims that are shot in this area.

When you see stuff like this boarded up house in the ghetto, you can't imagine any value to it. 99.9% of those that pass by, this is hell.....and way too dangerous ground to tread. This is East Baltimore............drug dealers on every corner........crime at every turn.........bullets flying........murders and more murders. Filth. For some reason, though, one of those Hollywood people had a use for it. This neighborhood would be perfect to substitute for Manchester, England. Huh? You gotta be kidding me. How could any place in England be anything as low as East Baltimore?

My son tells me he would have to come to this neighborhood because he was going to be in a new movie directed by Ridley Scott. Ridley Scott?............didn't he make Alien? What kind of movie is this? Who is in it? What is it about? So my son decides to take me in town to go see where they would film.

This was the street where the film crews were preparing to do their thing. We were there right before dark........it's not a safe place at any time of day. The set designers were altering and modifying the homes to look more like Manchester. Lifts were parked on the street.....they woud be used for aerial camera shots. The chimney stacks were added. All of this, only a few blocks northeast of Johns Hopkins Hospital.

Some of the residents......soon to be displaced with explosions, gunfire, scores of police and film crews.

This don't look much like Hollywood stuff to me. So just what is this movie about? So my son tells me that it is called "Body Of Lies" directed by Ridley Scott and starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe. This is great!........and my son gets to be in it!

So........son......what part do you play?............hmmmmmm........well.........a British swat team member..............and he tells me that his face is completely covered except for his eyes.........but it turns out he also gets to run through the streets with a weapon and has to run in front of a milk truck. Not bad.

After filming was done on this street, they called him again and wanted to use him as some sort of policeman. He would need to go to some other location for filming. That's two different parts in one film! How many people can say that?

When he finished that, they called him back again and wanted him to portray an air force soldier inside some sort of interior command post. I do not know all of the details because my son was sworn to secrecy. Oh well......we will have to wait for the movie. But at this point, my son is in the movie performing THREE different roles!

Because explosions were utilized, fire equipment was there at the set.

British vehicles...........water trucks.......canopies for film crews......on the set.

Ha.......this neighborhood hasn't seen this many white people in it for at least thirty years. Several blocks of the neighborhood, surrounding the set, were closed off for safety.

And there he is........my son, Dash Riprock.........hehehe.

He may not be a Power Ranger...........but by golly..........he IS in movies.......and not some little independent B movies...........these are top notch films.

Good going, son. Hmmmmm.......I wonder if I could get a role in one of these movies. Oh well............that might be a nightmare!

And before Body Of Lies.......there was Evan Almighty. It starred Steve Carrell and John Goodman. Here is a screen shot of my son in action. He played a Capitol police officer and he was to physically remove the main character from the floor of the senate office building.

Here is a closer look at the scene. You cannot imagine how proud I am of him. I just had to share this with everyone.

So the next time you find yourself sitting in the stands at Camden Yards.....watching an Orioles game.........look around you........you just never know who you might have seen up on the big screen of the movie theater.

To my son...........keep at it...........you have done me proud...........everything you accomplish, I accomplish...........and without you, my dream would be lost.

Rachael Ray is.....uh....has..... gas

Hmmmmmm.....sometimes you gotta wonder.

Mrs. Farting Preacher 3

What can I say about this?.......except it is yet another sign of the "end" perhaps?

Who Will YOU Choose To Drive The Final Nail In The USA's Coffin?

Let's face it, we are doomed. It appears that to the media, the coming primary elections are the most important thing since the invention of the wheel. Actually, it isn't.........but it certainly should have everyone's attention. Maybe you haven't noticed.......but these morons that the political machines have coughed up to be the cream of their respective crops, may well be the very worst that have ever had the privelege to run for the highest office in the land.

First.......let's take a gander at the Democrats that "want YOU to vote for them"..........hehehe.......as if your vote actually counts.

Barack Obama.............what?.....Jesse or Rev. Al not available this round? If this is the very best black American the democrats can come up with.......well.......no thanks. Either Obama is the antichrist, or he is simply in there for the black vote. You had to know that Oprah would back him.


Hillary Clinton.............oh for Christ's sake!........they have GOT to be kidding........this is some kind of a joke..............they cannot be serious........if they are serious, it is all over, folks! If this bulldyke gets elected, then there is absolutely no hope for us............wake up, people!


Joe Biden..........hehehe..........okay, very funny.......he is in there for the bit of humor........and he IS funny, I will give him that.


John Edwards.............my guess is that he might attract the gay vote............this blinking hair-do moron doesn't deserve the waste of airtime on television........then again, they probably caved into letting him run so that he won't file suit against them for millions.


Christopher Dodd............there is one thing that gets me going, and that is when I hear a career politician like he is, spout about how the US needs a president with experience.........and of course, Dodd has something like 30 years of experience as a politician..............hmmmm.......he has had all of that time and I still cannot think of one good thing he has done for the country.


Bill Richardson..............hmmm......such an American name, ain't it? His real name is probably Pedro Hernandez, but they don't want you to think he is a good pitcher.


Dennis Kucinich.............my guess is that by having a moron like him on the slate, it makes all of the above look appealing. The democrats ought to be ashamed of themselves.


So.......whom shall you choose? Forget about it........your vote won't count anyway........they already know who is destined to be the leader of our demise.


And now the Republicans...........


John McCain.............he has been able to cash in on his being a survivor as a POW for many many years...............okay, now go away and let someone else have at it. Career politicians need to go away. He hasn't a chance.


Mitt Romney............they ain't fooling me, he is actually a Democrat. Furthermore, he is a Mormon.............how can anyone vote for a man that actually believes that there is an angel named MORONi..........and that there is a need for holy underwear?


Rudy Giuliani............let's face it.......he is yet another career politician..........but he did appear to get some things done in his lifetime.


Mike Huckabee............how could anyone forget that name?...........my guess is that the Republicans needed to show that they also can come up with a moron from Arkansas. Actually, though, one thing Huckabee has going for him is the Fair Tax..........that has my attention. That is a pretty damn good bone to toss my way.


Duncan Hunter..............seems like the angry candidate.........which may well be a good thing. We haven't had that kind of candidate since Reagan.


Fred Thompson.............first off, he is way too old.......secondly, everyone wants him back on Law & Order.


Ron Paul...............hmmm, two first names.............obviously, he is in there to provide a taste of extremes...............and he may be able to get some bucks donated for his campaign, but that money will simply go into the Republican party coffers after he is eliminated. If by chance he did win the nomination............the Democrats will come out looking rather moderate compared to him.


So whom shall you choose?


Seriously.............your vote does not matter.........both parties have it all planned already........no matter if you vote Republican or Democrat. The sham that this alleged two-party system has put upon the good people of the US needs to come to an end.........if not, then it will be the end of our world as we know it. The last thing they want is for us to come up with our own candidates. It would ruin their reign.


To sum it up............we are doomed.


..........but I really, really like that Fair Tax plan.